Do Not Call -- Really

I am retired, live by myself, home all day, with a landline.

No, I don't feel victimized by burglars.  The con artists and crooks that concern me are the telemarketers.

Lately, like for the past couple of years, the fearmongerers have been vying with the banking industry for the coveted prize of "Most Annoying Telemarketing Group."

For example, I just now got a call.  Expecting an actual call from a family member, me and my bad knees got up from the chair and made it to the phone when after four rings it stopped ringing.

Four, you see, is the magic number.  That's not only the number of rings it takes before my sister starts to worry that she is bothering you and hangs up; it is the number of rings robocalls are set to disconnect at so that they don't encounter your annoying answering machine, which would take up way too much of their valuable time.

Yesterday, I answered the phone to a robocall that began, "The FBI...."  It was, obviously, a security service.  These are the folks that if you call them will then dial 911 for you.

This morning the call I got was for a company doing a "Bathtub Safety Survey" -- honest.

In my ever futile attempts to stop the calls, and my frustration at having to wait through the robo message, I started punching buttons.  "0" just restarted the message.  "1" however got me an actual human, who thanked me for taking their survey.

I understand that, while I would rather live in my car and eat out of dumpsters than be a telemarketer, some people are just trying to make an honest living.  So over the years I have aimed for an assertive, not rude, message.  I stated that I am on the Do Not Call Registry, and to please take my number off their list, and then I hung up.

By the time I got back to where I had been when I was interrupted, the phone rang again.  This time, the caller left a message.  The message was that if I wanted to be taken off their call list I could have just hit "2", which she was trying to explain to me when I rudely hung up on her.

So let me recap:  in spite of the Federal Do Not Call Registry, I get a telemarketing call, to which I am supposed to listen in order to find out how to be removed from the call list.  And because I hung up on the telemarketer, I have been accused of being rude.

Well, just so I've got that straight.