Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Stereotypes Hanging By the Chimney with Care

So here I am, a Christmas stereotype.  Which pisses me off, so that's good.


My kids will be home for Christmas, all two of them plus one fiance, so shouldn't I be thrilled?


My daughter tells me that her present to me (always something hand-made) is that she's not going to try to see her friends while she's here.


Thanks.


My gift to you is I raised you, I fed you, I clothed you, I taxied you to violin lessons, I brought you up with the values that make you want to be around the very best family, i.e. your fiance's, during the holidays.


If you're going to be a stereotype, might as well run with it.


My son's annoying friend, who was very politically correct last year in making sure she didn't invite herself and her minions without my approval, and well between the two holidays, this year has decided to hell with it, and invited my kid to her place, three hours away, on New Year's Day.  But he will be home in time for his dentist's appointment on the 4th.


I am hoping his Christmas present to me will be to tell her he can't make it, his mother is hassling him about being home for New Year's Day.


Fact is, my children don't find me any more interesting than I found my parents, even though I'm a lot more interesting than they were.  They do enjoy the food.


Family, family, family.  My daughter lectured me about how important it is for her that we are all able to get along, in other words, me and her father.  So she can see us for a few days a year without us fighting.


I'm learning to feel less like I give a damn that they may not even like me.  If I had felt this way a couple of weeks ago, I could have saved myself the trouble of bringing in my little Charlie Brown tree, which I then had to decorate, which I will then have to undecorate.


For that matter, I may just reject her present to me by telling her by all means make plans with her friends; a week (six days, not that I'm counting) is a long time to spend with your mother.


It would be nice to be able to do the guilt thing without that annoying psychologist perched on my shoulder whispering, "You know that's not going to make them want to spend any more time with you."  Or, "you think they'll enjoy your company even more if they force themselves to hang out with you?"


No, and no, and do I really want to be spending that much time with them?  Or am I bound to the keeping the family together thing so I won't be alone thing?