Mother of Invention

Imagine this.


A car full of stuff, not fun stuff, yard stuff, bought with a 10% off coupon, and budget-wise bought in bulk.


Picture 5'1", 60-ish, 190 pounds.  Don't laugh, used to be 232. Bad shoulders, bad knees, my aching back.


So I bring the wheelbarrow up to the back of the car.  I know this old wheelbarrow tilts and topples, so I cleverly place it leaning against the car.  Then I haul out ever so carefully the huge two-cubic-foot (which I'm told is 36 pounds in American) bag of potting soil, which is going to last me all year.  Dump it into the wheelbarrow, and when I try to move it, realize the tire is flat.


Screw it, the potting soil will wait.  I'll try the 40 pound container of chlorine granules.  Somehow I get it to the ground while missing my feet.  Then using all my limited knowledge of physics, swing it a foot at a time to the stairs.  Yes, up three stairs to the porch, and then into the house.  Across the house to the back, a foot at a time.


Success.


Back to the car, and the 50 pound bag of sand that I couldn't even lift into the shopping trolley the day before.  I know I once lifted children that weighed that much.  So I grab it around the belly (of the bag) and to my surprise, I've lifted it, and I'm walking with it.


My knees can barely make the stairs with just me, so I know better than to try lifting me and a dense bag of sand.  I gently drop it on the first stair, and then hardly even thinking, I devise a reverse slinky motion up each stair.

But in reverse....

And so I go back to the wheelbarrow and do the last big baby grab with the potting soil, and to the bottom stair, where I once again do the reverse slinky, and then lean it against the wall.

Stay tuned for the next episode, opening the easy-open container of chlorine granules, using only a screwdriver, a metal cutter thingy, and a few choice curses.